As this disease progresses, the caregiver is obliged to make decisions for her beloved pwd. Mine lost most of his executive function with the first blush of his illness. Nonetheless, he could participate in some decisions I made on his behalf. He refused all medications in the beginning. I felt it was his right. HeContinue reading “Decisions”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Signage
Burt is very confused these days, questioning where he is and where he lives. My solution had a two-fold purpose. It would provide an activity to overcome some of his boredom. The activity would give us signs we could hang around the apartment. The signs might help him feel more oriented. All he was requiredContinue reading “Signage”
Doubts
Burt’s asking me who I am is creating a fault line in my self- confidence. I mean, I am still pretty sure who I am. Just not always sure who he thinks I am. When it was clear, for instance, that his pushy wife was becoming a pain, I was able to own up. IContinue reading “Doubts”
It’s hard to imagine
My smart and capable husband is living in a world outside of my reality. Actually, outside of any reality. He has many wives, one of which he says is not nice to him. Guilty as charged. I direct him too much. Praise him too little. Worry that something will go awry. All of this singlyContinue reading “It’s hard to imagine”
Projections
The other morning, Burt told me that I was losing my mind. I was saddened by his matter of fact tone as much as by the message. He had some additional wisdom when he informed me that going to the gym was killing me. Delusional trains chug through our days and evenings. In the earlyContinue reading “Projections”
Abbrev
In caregiving circles, there are lots of shortcuts by which we communicate. This is not a glossary, just some abbreviations that come to mind: DH (dear husband) & LO (loved one) Pwd is your person with dementia AC stands in for adult children, who often don’t stand up when needed LBD [Lewy Body Dementia] alsoContinue reading “Abbrev”
Love
Ours is a love story, so we have ourForever after, although sometimes,It resides with sorrow, not always aHappily, like in the fairy tales whereAll’s well because it ends well. Aren’t All endings sad? Our forever love isIn this moment. Ours is a love story.
Romance
There is still a deep romantic connection between my love and I. This despite the chaste status of our relations these days. I feel the pull at my heart, and I have often heard his version of our story as well. He has wanted to “run away,” he says, but “there’s some chemistry between us.”Continue reading “Romance”
So very, very slow
Every move, every change of venue, let’s say from the bedroom to the big brown chair, is a project. Burt notices my lack of patience for these life-altering transitions. “You’re not being nice,” he might say or more cuttingly “boy everybody here is so rotten.” Developing a “wait and let it develop” attitude might beContinue reading “So very, very slow”
