therealtamara

It’s sad but clear

We are preparing to let our loved ones go. It’s impossible to predict if we are headed to a long-term care facility. It’s hard to tell how long we’ll have with them once the disease starts. It’s even hard to guess where and when the next phase will take us. As I started my journeyContinue reading “It’s sad but clear”

Resistant

My guy doesn’t make it easy to help him. Some two years ago, he had trouble swallowing. He was limited in his eating for quite a while, yet he mocked “the chew doctor.” Instead of working on the issues, he resorted to a diet of lemon meringue tarts. I practically did a dance when heContinue reading “Resistant”

Inspiration

There is plenty of help along the road as we journey with Burt’s dementia. Teepa Snow, whom I have dubbed “the dementia whisperer,” offers priceless online advice and interactive sessions for caregivers. YouTube is an outlet for her superb videos. You can find Careblazers there as well, with Natali Edmonds providing lots of guidance forContinue reading “Inspiration”

Respite

It’s frequently a piece of advice which some caregivers have come to resent. It is given in a spirit of concern, but some of us feel it is de trop. “I know I have to take care of myself,” one of my confederates said. “I don’t need to be reminded.” Take care of yourself. IfContinue reading “Respite”

Burt’s p.o.v.

The last couple of days, he’s brooding over how long he has left to live. He says 28 but means 2028, which is 8 years after his dx in 2020. I say no one can predict, and 8 years might be an average. My husband is a brooder. Before his diagnosis, he tended to beContinue reading “Burt’s p.o.v.”

From the other’s perspective

It’s easier to speak of the “job” we do as caregivers and how hard things are for us. It’s more of a heartbreak seeing things from the point of view of our beloved. Dementia is very hard on them. My husband explains that he has a brain disease to people he knows. Sometimes, he isContinue reading “From the other’s perspective”

All in a day’s work

Reluctantly, I am documenting a part of our life I never anticipated. It’s an easy bet that anyone thrown into a caregiving role didn’t expect life to turn out as it has. It’s also true that for many of us, the caregiving has brought us strength we never expected.

Where we are

Everyone seems to have settled on calling this a journey. I get it. Life is a trip we take. It’s a journey we have undertaken and a course that we are set upon to follow. Whither it takes us, we go. Like many others amongst us, our journey took us to unexpected places. Several yearsContinue reading “Where we are”

Hesitant

There are many excuses for my reluctance to post about such a personal matter. It’s Lewy Body Dementia Awareness Month, and that has jogged me towards sharing our experiences. My husband was terribly confused at first. Those were his symptoms. He didn’t know who I was and would often also try to find me. HeContinue reading “Hesitant”

Along the way

It’s been an unexpected journey in every way. Along the way, I have met women and men who care for their partners with dementia. Some of these caregivers are providing comfort and support to former spouses or even ex-boyfriends. This speaks to the connection they have with their exes. It also speaks of the deepContinue reading “Along the way”