A gratitude Time is an ironic boss. It passes. It moves so slowly that it’s as if someone forgot to release the break. At the same time (or by the same token), it rushes past us in a blur. In those instances (in those moments), we are caught off guard by the whirlwind. We sometimesContinue reading “Time passes”
Category Archives: Advice
Expert advice
I am no expert on this disease. I play one around my house, as it were. I am as flummoxed by new behaviors as the next hapless caregiver. We have been thrown under this bus. Each of us. The onset of dementia in your partner can lead to confusion. His and mine. Burt and IContinue reading “Expert advice”
Practical concerns
As Burt retreated into his bed, his OT raised concerns over pressure sores. She was not being alarmist, I only wish she was. The skin is our largest organ, and it is susceptible to wounds and tears. Burt has developed several areas that need lots of special attention. We use a number of ointments andContinue reading “Practical concerns”
The sign
It’s been at least two years since I first met this sign on a stretch of East End Avenue. I took it both at face value and as an indicator. Life, our life, had definitely hit a patch of the rough. In our case, we had not had or did not heed or were notContinue reading “The sign”
Transition
It’s in my journal. “Burt has so much trouble with transitions.”* Then it hits me, Burt’s transitions drive me nuts. It takes so long for him to get up out of his chair. I timed it one day, and it took 45 minutes. That was with two of us assisting him. I just get soContinue reading “Transition”
Home away
It’s a quandary we face. The person we love and married is no longer the same. I miss him all the time. Life with a p.w.d. is far from easy. Is this the right time to place him or her in a residential home? A social worker once told me, “You will know when theContinue reading “Home away”
Burt says
Marriage is hard. First, you have to love the person and then it’s a lot of work. Burt advises some “friends.” His conclusion is that all “those 30 people over there” will think twice about getting married. He was having a lucid, although clearly not hallucination-free, morning. I value the days when he knows whoContinue reading “Burt says”
Not to worry
It’s natural for caregivers to be vigilant about changes and signs. It’s in the nature of our person with dementia, particularly a partner with Lewy Body, to give us cause for worry. So when we fret, it has to be over reasonable concerns. And in measured tones. My tendency to panic has been noted, evenContinue reading “Not to worry”
Funny you should ask
How do you practice self-care? The “self-care” question meets with controversy and raised eyebrows in my community of caregivers. “Take care of yourself” is a well-meant message we often hear. Many of those of us who are taking care of a spouse understand the need, appreciate the sentiment, and just wish you didn’t have toContinue reading “Funny you should ask”
Throwbacks
This many years in, I have assured lots of precautions will keep us financially safe. And me in control. We have the requisite legal papers in place as well. Despite that, when Burt, in a flashback to earlier capabilities, said, “I’ve never lost money,” there was a little shiver of fear. He was urging investments,Continue reading “Throwbacks”
this is our life 