In Say it again, I think I was referencing the old song, Have I Told You Lately That I Love You My friend ACJ thought it might be Do I Love You to which the answer is indeed I do. In exploring the genesis of Have I Told You…, I turned to Spotify or YouTubeContinue reading “Have I Told You…”
Category Archives: Emotions
Falling
Some things I remembered this morning When Burt was in the rehab after a fall in which he broke a hip bone during a bout with Covid, he’d call me with an escape plan. He said we could meet by the front door and sneak out to go home. He’d wake his roommates yelling outContinue reading “Falling”
Sadder
There will be days like these.. the line is from a rock n roll song. My mama said… it goes on… and it is only a caption, not the whole story. More to the point, those of us who are mourning know that there will be bad days and better days. Sad days and betterContinue reading “Sadder”
Artifacts
Recently when R and I were reminiscing about Burt, she said that when she started working with him, he always sat in front of the TV, planning shows for us to watch. He had been doing something like this for a long time. Before Lewy, he picked out our evening’s entertainment from the FIOS guideContinue reading “Artifacts”
Sixth stage
When you’re caring for a person with dementia, you get to repeat the five stages of grief over and over. While your spouse is playing out his Groundhog Day, repeatedly wondering what time it is, you’re stuck in denial anger bargaining depression acceptance over and over. It’s not just sorrow (and surprise) as a newContinue reading “Sixth stage”
Am I repeating myself
When our podiatrist visited, her shock over the change in Burt over two months became my shock. There is no escaping the fact that a progressive neurodegenerative disease degenerates. It’s the only progress it knows. Those of us who are living with it are serially surprised. It often or sometimes takes other’s eyes to showContinue reading “Am I repeating myself”
Expert advice
I am no expert on this disease. I play one around my house, as it were. I am as flummoxed by new behaviors as the next hapless caregiver. We have been thrown under this bus. Each of us. The onset of dementia in your partner can lead to confusion. His and mine. Burt and IContinue reading “Expert advice”
Every little thing
Who said «The unexamined life isNot worth living,« I have taken thatTo heart, instilled it with a power soI examine every thing as it happensAs if by tearing at it, I will find a gemOf wisdom, learn a life lesson evenIf it’s from myself alone for myselfAlone. «Lest I forget« is a phrase I StickContinue reading “Every little thing”
It’s not imminent
We all die alone; it’s our ownPersonal drama. Noone should Take our spotlight. I will stayAs witness. I will not let him goAlone. I will be the chorus to hisAgamennon, the Fool to his Lear Burt’s decline, as I have mulled it over and over, is a dark time for me. It is also darkContinue reading “It’s not imminent”
Unambiguously
I started mourning…. I was going to say right away, well, that’s not true. The first losses kicked me in the gut. They perplexed me. I was angry. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I started mourning as I got used to the loss. Losses, that’s the right word; they are incremental;Continue reading “Unambiguously”
this is our life 