This was the source of Burt’s favorite treat:
Category Archives: Enjoyments
Burt and I always were goers before his dementia stopped us in our tracks. Lately, my lament has been that we should have done more during his decline. Gone to dinner, taken more walks. In part, this is a wish, that if we did more, we could’ve made more memories. I’ve mentioned his expressed desireContinue reading
The practice of care
Best practices include the care of our darlings but as caregivers we need to look out for ourselves. Care for the caregiver includes respite, a topic dear to me and upon which I have expostulated at length. Self-care can and should be done in the company of others. Spend time with friends. I have lunchContinue reading “The practice of care”
A treat?
Standing in an aisle at Duane Reade, I realize that I won’t be bringing Burt a chocolate treat. He can’t eat chocolates the way he once could. I’ve been breaking a little piece into littler pieces for him, but he’s not getting the kick out of it anymore. Now, I add dark chocolate syrup toContinue reading “A treat?”
Down down up
When I speak of Burt’s return or of an upswing, I am grading on a curve. After his recent declines, he has not achieved clarity, coherence, or cognitive functioning. He tells me of imagined trips where he met people with wonderfully unlikely names. He insists I bring Tamara to him when I say, “I’m yourContinue reading “Down down up”
The sign
It’s been at least two years since I first met this sign on a stretch of East End Avenue. I took it both at face value and as an indicator. Life, our life, had definitely hit a patch of the rough. In our case, we had not had or did not heed or were notContinue reading “The sign”
Moment to moment
Burt’s fever broke overnight, almost as suddenly as it started. He was immediately a bit less disoriented. He was able to speak more clearly. We were just chatting, and he mentioned his ex-wife‘s name. I was prepared for this. I was prepared for it to hurt when I asked who she was. He did say,Continue reading “Moment to moment”
Music
It’s medicinal. It can jog memories; it makes you feel good; it works on the mind. You know how music can bring a smile to your face. You know how music can make your love-with-dementia happy. There is scientific evidence for this. Neuro scientific evidence. The podcast here also tells us that there is redundancyContinue reading “Music”
A Welcome Visitor
Burt really perked up during a visit this week. Our guest was someone we’ve known for many years; Burt didn’t remember him but he was a happier guy than he’d been in awhile. He even made an effort to get out of bed to go to his recliner. He told jokes. Visits break up theContinue reading “A Welcome Visitor”
Caring. Day in/day out.
My role as caregiver is certainly not an easy job. I am not saying this out of self-congratulations or pity. I try not to allow it to limit or overwhelm me. In order to, you know, keep on keeping on, I have to stay strong and centered. Burt has often told me not to getContinue reading “Caring. Day in/day out.”
this is our life 