Memory fades. Not just yours, my dear which was strangely altered and crippled by the dementia with which you suffered. Everyone’s. It, like the hearing of which couples complain, can be selective. Or just inaccurate. It was a gift to me when you recounted so much of your life story to me. Some of itContinue reading “Your story”
Category Archives: #gratitude
I ran into…
Last week I ran into a friend who now owns a bar-restaurant that Burt and I frequented; we hug, she offering me condolences and saying now you’ll live your bestlife. Then she’s telling me that Burt was a character. Hearing her assessment is a blessing. That day, I also ran into a Social Worker IContinue reading “I ran into…”
Listening
I routinely go through my picture trove on the phone. The photos and videos of Burt are starred. This is what stopped me as I went through the cache today. Burt’s voice in these snippets is so sweet to hear. I am so grateful! This one above was the first one I uncovered. It still makesContinue reading “Listening”
Madeleines
This was the source of Burt’s favorite treat:
Laugh, love, remember
Honoring those we love who have died is not a matter of constant sorrow. I was in a speakeasy Friday night, having fun watching the young, and, yes, being honored by them. [See “You are icons.” Prohibitions is back, baby.] Intentionality, my awkward word for mindfulness, makes it essential to laugh while grieving. This isContinue reading “Laugh, love, remember”
Accountable
It feels like I should have control over my feelings, my memories, my past and my future. The jumble sale that is a life can be so much messier than any accounting of it suggests. Well, in 1990, I did this; actually, I met Burt, so it was a big year. In 1992, we gotContinue reading “Accountable”
Burt deserved the extraordinary
Burt was extraordinary. He and I had lived a happy, carefree, and modest life. We had no ambition to stir us towards greatness. He had daydreams of coaching a hapless team with me in the dug- out by his side. Sometimes. Not an ambition. We were impressed by talent and in Burt’s case that meantContinue reading “Burt deserved the extraordinary”
Nearly 12,775 days
As I glance at the photo of our wedding, I say to Burt “That was the best day of my life.” It was, but actually, nearly all of the nearly 12,775 days I spent with you were the best. That day, May 1992, came after two years of getting-to-know-yous and adjustments. It was a lifeContinue reading “Nearly 12,775 days”
Good advice
Some days, Burt is so intensely missed that I walk around in a miasma of loss. That’s on one day, and it’s fine. It is inevitable that that feeling will come or go or both at once. Today, I miss him but I’m digging into memories. With the memory the miasma lifts; I am notContinue reading “Good advice”
We are humble
This is not a brag Caregiving carries with it a grand responsibility. Rather than make us grandiose, it humbles us. One of my caregiver friends is as thrilled by the purple umbrella she gifted herself as a diva is by pearls, champagne and fancy chocolates. No diva, but a queen of caring. My own experienceContinue reading “We are humble”
this is our life 