A neighbor and I exchanged the back and forth of a condolence greeting. I said, yes I’m heading to the theater with a friend and thinking how much I miss the Burt who would be taking me to the theater. The Burt from way back. He said I remember the Burt from way back. QuickContinue reading “Another conversation”
Author Archives: therealtamara
New paths
In February, after nearly five years suffering with dementia, at the age of 85, Burt passed away. Before Burt’s illness we had a pretext of youth. Carefree and adventurous, doing and going was our style. During the years of Burt’s illness we had changed our focus. I am looking to pick up a new thread. IContinue reading “New paths”
The walls
Braving his fears
Burt had always seemed to be a “scaredy cat.” As his dementia progressed, he was fearful of the many dogs in our building. He would shoo them and then regret his rudeness and make his peace with their owners. He worried loudly when he participated in his PT or when we moved him in hisContinue reading “Braving his fears”
The reservoir
Today, I took a walk across the park for the first time in many years. It was inevitable that this trip would trigger memories of Burt and me. My path took me along the track by the reservoir, a route we had last walked together 8 years ago. I was pleased to be there withContinue reading “The reservoir”
Prompted at a writing workshop
Burden / Blessing My burden, as it were, is lifted. Burt has passed and I am relieved of caregiving. I have the blessings of memory. Good memories, mostly, from a good long-short marriage, from a friendship that enriched my life; good memories from years of doing-together; and, yes, good memories from nearly five years ofContinue reading “Prompted at a writing workshop”
Stages
The dawn is still beautiful. Is it allowed to be beautiful? Are there really stages of grief? I know there are because I have lived them once already. I am grieving all over for the same man I mourned before. My sorrow is not less now even though it is tinged with relief. I haveContinue reading “Stages”
Life, as it goes on
My life without Burt feels like it’s been severed in half. So I am living a half-life like a mineral. At least some of the time. His picture is all over the walls of our living room. I can admire his impish smile or his eager interest. I can remember when we went to thisContinue reading “Life, as it goes on”
Another song
Losing you. A sad sad songOf loss. But not of love lost.You’re gone but our love, it’sWith me still. It will be with Me always. Our love, yoursFor me, fills my memories, My love for you, it’s forever.When I awake saying as I do,I love you Burt. I know I am Lucky, so very lucky.Continue reading “Another song”
Ides
Beware the Ides of March? Is that the 13th, no 15th, and it’s past. You have passed. I have been beware and aware since you first presented with odd differences. The days we went all over town visiting doctors with an answer to why you were seeing double. We shrugged when you returned home sayingContinue reading “Ides”
this is our life 