TheRealTamara

The last months

This morning, I was rereading posts from the days and months before Burt died. It’s pretty clear that I had been aware since November, around his birthday, of how much he had begun to decline. This was unlike the dips we’d gone through before. There were hopeful posts expecting further help for Burt’s care, startingContinue reading “The last months”

We are humble: patience

This is not a brag Caregiving carries with it a grand responsibility. Rather than make us grandiose, it humbles us. One of my caregiver friends is as thrilled by the purple umbrella she gifted herself as a diva is by pearls, champagne and fancy chocolates. No diva, but a queen of caring. My own experienceContinue reading “We are humble: patience”

Love-and-marriage.2

We’ve talked about love during caregiving, but I have not been forthright about sex. We don’t talk about that in polite society as my mother would assert. Let’s be honest, LBD destroys intimacy. A visiting carer who came by to see Burt was not circumspect. She suggested I should connect with someone in circumstances likeContinue reading “Love-and-marriage.2”

Good fortune

What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it? The obvious answer would be the journey I took with Burt once he was diagnosed with Lewy Body. The journey, as it turns out, had so many positives. It brought out a side of me I hadn’tContinue reading “Good fortune”

Rakish

It’s a Sunday pastime of mine, going through photos, looking for the one or dozen that tickle me the most.

Watch Burt talks coffee break 2023

This is one of two videos I have of Burt. Two videos in which I can hear his voice. The cellphone has me made others with the phone’s choice of musical score. I uploaded this to my Vimeo feed today. Click below to see (and hear): There’s two people involved, Burt tells me. It’s aContinue reading “Watch Burt talks coffee break 2023”

Caring

Witnessing a loved one suffer any long, drawn-out illness is painful. Of course, it is. When my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given six months to live, it felt like we were embarking on this together. I wasn’t the one who would die, I know, but we faced her last days in solidarity.Continue reading “Caring”

Reminiscing

Burt was my photo model and this is one of my [many, many] favorite shots. There’s a teasing smirk in the smile, yet the fun is there. He noted when I took pictures of him and was pleased to have the camera turned towards him. I am pleased to have such a treasure trove ofContinue reading “Reminiscing”

The last 5 years

There are so many pictures of Burt, mostly during the journey, but a lot of us at ballgames, on walks having fun. The photos perch on every free surface in both rooms or sit tacked to the wall. Our wedding photos, and an album, are also part of the decor. The photographic reminders take meContinue reading “The last 5 years”

In the end

We do all we can to give loving care for our loved one who is broken by this disease. We are diligent and devoted. It is what we do while we give care. We are grateful for the opportunity to share the last years with someone we love. We ensure that he has a secureContinue reading “In the end”