Burt’s decline has been very distressing. Yesterday, he slept all day. He didn’t respond to his aide and this scared her. Today, he’s back and chatting. Giving advice, happy. Ah, Lewy. He’s staying in bed but eating well and talking a lot.
Author Archives: therealtamara
His decline. My denial
Oh, that famous river is always right over my shoulder. Is it my heart that keeps me from accepting the inevitability of this disease? Burt has been declining, as in sooo much more confused, delusions and hallucinating to beat_the_band. He also is often sleeping more, although the fact that he’s up half the night contributes.Continue reading “His decline. My denial”
Will this be useful?
My therapist gave me a list of feelings to try to refine my self-assessment. I should look at & consult. What can sadness and sorrow mean or incorporate? I feel bored, too, and guilty for that and other lapses in my care.Worried falls under Fear for example. Guilt includes Regret Sorry Remorseful none of whichContinue reading “Will this be useful?”
Love, loss
Last night, Burt was very vocal. I believe he was mostly speaking in his sleep. Much of this conversation last night addressed complaints. He called out my name a few times. In this chatter, he fluctuated between an unfavorable and a positive view of me. It was clear that he knew who I was. ThisContinue reading “Love, loss”
Grateful, appreciative, and thankful
It’s Thanksgiving. Talk of gratitude is as prevalent as the turkey on our plates. We are parsing what is worthy of our appreciation as we sit down for today’s feast. The original idea of this holiday was to show thanks to God for the bounty in our lives. Gratitude practice is at the least aContinue reading “Grateful, appreciative, and thankful”
Mayhem
Burt asked me if I knew that guy. I listened a little harder, had he said Maynard? The guy, he repeated, «Mayhem«. His question gave me chills. I thought of the character Dean Winters plays in a TV ad, but I also thought of the mayhem LBD causes, the disruption in our lives and inContinue reading “Mayhem”
A Welcome Visitor
Burt really perked up during a visit this week. Our guest was someone we’ve known for many years; Burt didn’t remember him but he was a happier guy than he’d been in awhile. He even made an effort to get out of bed to go to his recliner. He told jokes. Visits break up theContinue reading “A Welcome Visitor”
It’s never too late
The jingle about Jello Instant Pudding® is running through my head right now, but honestly this is a serious post about a serious question. The other night, Burt, in the midst of his confusion, was lamenting how “sick” he feels. My response was to tell him that whatever was bothering him, hurting him and upsettingContinue reading “It’s never too late”
Rapid
My sense is that Burt started his path in LBD at an advanced stage. From the get-go he went from a period of apathy to being fully confused in what felt like 60 seconds. Capgras was one major symptom; little people enhabited our home; he needed reassurance that he was home. Meds helped a lotContinue reading “Rapid”
Recognition
When we started our ride with Lewy, I was cheered± by one assurance. Unlike Alzheimer’s the person with this dementia will always know his/her spouse. It’s a tricky point. They didn’t tell me that he would tell me that his wife was dead; or that he hates her. They didn’t say that there would beContinue reading “Recognition”
this is our life 