We all need to hear it often. Did I say it as often as I should have? Or, could have? We, none of us, believe we are loved. We need to hear it often. I love you, I would say, to Burt. I truly did, yes, do, love him. Often, he’d raise an eyebrow inContinue reading “Say it again.”
Category Archives: #gratitude
I write a poem
This is a poem becauseBecause I miss you andToday I miss you more, Seeing your picture, oneTaken years before yourIllness changed you, whenA walk on the ramp to orFrom our river path wasYour favorite way to spendSome hours, when you Were strong, and active,I miss you in that beforeTime, but you know I alsoMiss theContinue reading “I write a poem”
More in the memory dept.
As I leave lunch at Old John’s, I pass Merkin Hall and think Burt and I went there a few times. Of course we did. We went to just about every concert hall in town.
At home on a rainy day
As I sit here writing, and reading, I have a strong feeling that Burt is present with me. It’s the first time, since the time I thought I needed to go check on him. That had happened just a few days after he passed. It’s been months now, nearly eight, and this is different. Today,Continue reading “At home on a rainy day”
Your story
Memory fades. Not just yours, my dear which was strangely altered and crippled by the dementia with which you suffered. Everyone’s. It, like the hearing of which couples complain, can be selective. Or just inaccurate. It was a gift to me when you recounted so much of your life story to me. Some of itContinue reading “Your story”
I ran into…
Last week I ran into a friend who now owns a bar-restaurant that Burt and I frequented; we hug, she offering me condolences and saying now you’ll live your bestlife. Then she’s telling me that Burt was a character. Hearing her assessment is a blessing. That day, I also ran into a Social Worker IContinue reading “I ran into…”
Listening
I routinely go through my picture trove on the phone. The photos and videos of Burt are starred. This is what stopped me as I went through the cache today. Burt’s voice in these snippets is so sweet to hear. I am so grateful! This one above was the first one I uncovered. It still makesContinue reading “Listening”
Madeleines
This was the source of Burt’s favorite treat:
Laugh, love, remember
Honoring those we love who have died is not a matter of constant sorrow. I was in a speakeasy Friday night, having fun watching the young, and, yes, being honored by them. [See “You are icons.” Prohibitions is back, baby.] Intentionality, my awkward word for mindfulness, makes it essential to laugh while grieving. This isContinue reading “Laugh, love, remember”
Accountable
It feels like I should have control over my feelings, my memories, my past and my future. The jumble sale that is a life can be so much messier than any accounting of it suggests. Well, in 1990, I did this; actually, I met Burt, so it was a big year. In 1992, we gotContinue reading “Accountable”
this is our life 