Honoring those we love who have died is not a matter of constant sorrow. I was in a speakeasy Friday night, having fun watching the young, and, yes, being honored by them. [See “You are icons.” Prohibitions is back, baby.] Intentionality, my awkward word for mindfulness, makes it essential to laugh while grieving. This isContinue reading “Laugh, love, remember”
Category Archives: #gratitude
Accountable
It feels like I should have control over my feelings, my memories, my past and my future. The jumble sale that is a life can be so much messier than any accounting of it suggests. Well, in 1990, I did this; actually, I met Burt, so it was a big year. In 1992, we gotContinue reading “Accountable”
Burt deserved the extraordinary
Burt was extraordinary. He and I had lived a happy, carefree, and modest life. We had no ambition to stir us towards greatness. He had daydreams of coaching a hapless team with me in the dug- out by his side. Sometimes. Not an ambition. We were impressed by talent and in Burt’s case that meantContinue reading “Burt deserved the extraordinary”
Nearly 12,775 days
As I glance at the photo of our wedding, I say to Burt “That was the best day of my life.” It was, but actually, nearly all of the nearly 12,775 days I spent with you were the best. That day, May 1992, came after two years of getting-to-know-yous and adjustments. It was a lifeContinue reading “Nearly 12,775 days”
Good advice
Some days, Burt is so intensely missed that I walk around in a miasma of loss. That’s on one day, and it’s fine. It is inevitable that that feeling will come or go or both at once. Today, I miss him but I’m digging into memories. With the memory the miasma lifts; I am notContinue reading “Good advice”
We are humble
This is not a brag Caregiving carries with it a grand responsibility. Rather than make us grandiose, it humbles us. One of my caregiver friends is as thrilled by the purple umbrella she gifted herself as a diva is by pearls, champagne and fancy chocolates. No diva, but a queen of caring. My own experienceContinue reading “We are humble”
I found it!
My tendency to clear away clutter is anti-sentimental. I tend to remove the unworn from my closets. It’s a slightly brutal approach. I am delighted that I didn’t dispose of all my unused keepsakes so cavaliarly. We were- I can’t remember why- at the Met store in Rockefeller Center. Browsing. Somehow, Burt managed to sneakContinue reading “I found it!”
The Firehouse
Back in the neighborhood with the reminiscent firehouse, I am early^* for Fresh Tracks at New York LiveArts. Once again I am reminded about Burt’s encounter with the fireman all those yeats ago. ^*I went extra early with the intention of snacking and sitting at Ama Vita on W19. It’s closed on Saturdays?¿ Of course,Continue reading “The Firehouse”
Supporting
Healing after losing the one you love is not really about moving on. It’s about honoring and it’s about remembering. It’s also about finding joy. A word I am flinging around these days as if it were a flag to the future. It is important. Significantly, it also helps to continue to support others goingContinue reading “Supporting”
Don’t give up
As I was looking for a reference in some posts past, I found this amazing quote from Burt: “Don’t give up on loving me,” my very sleepy sweetheart said, holding my hand. As he drifted off to sleep, Burt called me over [why does everything have to be shared as a secret (sigh)?]. Despite myContinue reading “Don’t give up”
this is our life 