therealtamara

The celebration

In February, on the 25th- yes, I know it’s still 2 months+ away- it will one year since Burt’s passing. It feels like it’s been so much longer. Not just because he had been going [or gone] for the better part of five years before that. The not-quite a year has moved slowly, dragging inContinue reading “The celebration”

Happiness

Looking at the many photos of Burt I have on my phone, I was touched by his grins, his looking mischievous. I realized how important it was to me that he enjoyed his life. And that, in retrospect. I have evidence of his pleasure. There are all those pictures I took and the memory ofContinue reading “Happiness”

Those 12 steps

“Acceptance” plays a huge role in our mental health. My reference to the 12 steps is a wry acknowledgement of just how deeply embedded the edicts of AA are in our psyche. The opening pledge addresses accepting.. and it’s genuinely a great suggestion. Let go. If you can’t change it, let it be. Acceptance hasContinue reading “Those 12 steps”

Photo album

I look at these pictures as I scroll through the albums on my phone, and I say, that was a good day.

Snowy days

This brightens my day

The cellphone created this array for me, 12/13/2025. It calls this slide show A Face in Focus and set it to a lovely tune, called A Lovely Day.

This was our life

I’ve already made my grieving more public than is seemly. I continue to mourn in writing as a heads up for those of you who may experience a similar circumstance. An unnecessary heads up, I admit. We all grieve differently. Also, we each face our grief differently at different times as we mourn. I feelContinue reading “This was our life”

Coming to terms

Every day is different after the loss of Burt; it’s not just in the sense of the cliché. As a widow, the differences in the days are linked to memory and mood. It is a matter of the ebbs and floods of sorrow and acceptance. The holidays are notorious for being harder when a lovedContinue reading “Coming to terms”

Thankful

With Thanksgiving just a few days past, I realize that I had not completed my list of gratitude. It was such an obvious thing that I hadn’t voiced it: I am grateful for Burt. I am grateful that I met him, grateful that I knew him. I am grateful for every moment I had withContinue reading “Thankful”

Another one of our hangouts

It always struck me as an odd place for it, but there’s a hotel on 92nd off 1st. Burt and I often took a walk along the East River Esplanade. We would wind up in its lobby when got past Gracie Mansion. It was a pit stop. Now, I sometimes go into the lobby onContinue reading “Another one of our hangouts”