To me, it’s not a paying back or a pay-it-forward. I think of it as a graduation. I was a huge consumer of support groups while I was caregiving. I know how much I needed those sessions with others in a similar place. The neutral space where other caregivers talk freely under the guidance ofContinue reading “I ♥️ Support Groups”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
After care
Caregiving is a purposeful and busy occupation. While I was Burt’s caregiver, I had focus and pep even when I was worried and tired. Since Burt passed, just over a year ago, I have felt I was aging. I am, of course, as time rolls by, but it feels as if I went from energeticContinue reading “After care”
I do
While I was in the midst of caregiving, an acquaintance suggested I pursue a flirtation I had mentioned to her. “Don’t think of it as cheating,” she advised. Of course, I would. And of course, in its way, it was not. Well, yes, strictly speaking, of course it was. This is a delicate point asContinue reading “I do”
Burt’s memorial plate, my memory
The plaque in memory of Burt is in its place in the God’s Love We Deliver kitchen. I will be checking it out in person soon. It’s fair to say that, in fact, time dulls memory. You want to remember all the highlights from years together. At least I do. And, mostly, I can. SomeContinue reading “Burt’s memorial plate, my memory”
Caring
The directive that we take care of ourselves is so annoying. You have enough on your plate taking care of your loved one. Caregiving’s a hard demanding task and isn’t it just natural to watch out for oneself. I know I resented the reminder even though I regularly did what I could to care for myself.Continue reading “Caring”
Memories of Burt, Always Burt
Once upon a time, Burt and I had been at a Mets game [there were lots of Mets games] and I have a picture sitting on a shelf next to a more recent photo of us together on 78th St. Both good memories, juxtaposed to make me smile. Like a before and after. Just notContinue reading “Memories of Burt, Always Burt”
Video memory
Waiting for my old cellphone to migrate to the new one gave me an opportunity to catch up with the video of Burt in the rehab. He came home from the facility on February 25th, 2 years to the day before he died at home. The video is just under 7 minutes and in itContinue reading “Video memory”
My ChiGong class
My balance, strength, mobility and endurance are all subject to challenges these days. It’s an aging-not-so-well thing. Many of us oldsters are fairing better. I attend a ChiGong (or, you may know it as QiGong) class with the goal of righting my ship of state. It is a gentle exercise protocol that calls for balance.Continue reading “My ChiGong class”
Step by step
It occurs to me in passing that I no longer walk normally down steps. Its a thought that comes to me as I see a young woman pick her way downstairs. On its heels, the memory that Burt would warn me to hold the railing. Don’t be a štarker, he’d said. I guess that translatesContinue reading “Step by step”
It’s one year since Burt passed
Looking at the wedding photos hanging over my kitchen table, I realize that I am beaming. I’m stupid-giddy in these photos. This night, I raise my glass of Polar club soda in a toast to him for that happiest day; then to us both for all the great years we shared. Someone I met whileContinue reading “It’s one year since Burt passed”
this is our life 