What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months? Staying positive and appreciating the opportunities that caregiving offers is the biggest challenge. It’s too easy to find the hards in the journey. Focusing on those makes it just a little harder. Looking at the love that binds us together as weContinue reading “Is it challenging?”
Author Archives: therealtamara
What would Burt say?
What advice would you give to your teenage self? Don’t get old is advice he’s meted out. Another favorite is don’t get dementia. Burt would definitely suggest those bits to his teenage self and yours. Life remains an enigma. We don’t know where we’re going or by what means we’ll get there. “Don’t get old”Continue reading “What would Burt say?”
The good and the…
When I blog about Burt’s Lewy, I am not sure that I am being respectful of his dignity. I don’t know how he would respond if he knew I was sharing his worst moments as well as his best. I share much of our life experiences in the spirit of caring and love with whichContinue reading “The good and the…”
Lewy is unlike other dementias
Alzheimer’s is an orderly dementia. It progresses in stages. There is a pattern as its awful symptoms afflict your loved one over time. No dementia is easy. They are each unique. Lewy Body is unpredictable. Symptoms come and go. You and your person can be plunged into troubling situations one day, only to have aContinue reading “Lewy is unlike other dementias”
The gift
His hand is so much bigger than mine. I feel protected holding his hand, and yet I know it’s my job to protect him. When he was first diagnosed he denied the diagnosis. I thought if only he knew it would be so much easier. I could justify the decisions I had to make, explainContinue reading “The gift”
Literary illusions/alusions
In the beginning, just before we got his diagnosis, I would describe our life in view of literature. The comparison to Ionesco fed my worldly aspirations. Rhinoceros also kind of described where Capgras was leading us. Of course, Groundhog Day also fit the bill when repetition was a regimen. An attempt at absurdist wit wasContinue reading “Literary illusions/alusions”
All the to-dos
Write about your approach to budgeting. There are so many things that can overwhelm the caregiver in this journey. It’s not just the responsibility – both financial and physical – and our loved one’s urgent and ongoing needs, but the long lists of what-to-dos. There are supplies we have to keep on hand. Burt justContinue reading “All the to-dos”
I love you
Reassurance is important for my person with dementia. I slip and forget sometimes. I realized this today when I said, “I love you, sweetheart.” He did not respond with an “I love you too,” but with “you didn’t tell me in a long time.” His remark serves as a reminder to me to say “IContinue reading “I love you”
Giving my best. Doing my best
Burt expects me to deliver my best self. He knows it doesn’t always happen. “I’m doing the best I can” is often dismissed as not good enough. Sometimes, it’s met without challenge and accepted. Forgiven or forgotten. The other day, when we established that no aide would be with us, Burt asked me if IContinue reading “Giving my best. Doing my best”
The confusion
It’s hard to resist the urge to say “really? Really, you don’t know that your first wife was named Susan?” Just one of a series of “really’s” that his infliction brings to the fore. As we’re on a high of successes, his confusion is more unwelcome. I feel it like the contradiction pulling me downContinue reading “The confusion”
this is our life 